What makes a wedding feel intimate?

I knew this wedding would be different within the first five minutes.

Not because of the venue, the decorations, or anything the couple had planned. It was something else entirely.

Before the ceremony had even started, there was already a feeling in the room that everyone genuinely wanted to be present. Rather than being focused on getting the perfect photo, they were talking to each other and laughing together.

It got me thinking about something I hear a lot from couples that come to me. Many of them say they want an intimate wedding.

But what actually makes a wedding feel intimate?

I've photographed small weddings that felt distant and larger weddings that felt incredibly personal, so it certainly isn’t about the guest count. The difference is usually something much more simple. The people there felt free to be themselves.

During the ceremony, the couple read handwritten vows to each other. You could tell these weren't words written for an audience (despite them being delivered impeccably). They were written for each other. At one point, the groom gave his bride a framed receipt from their first date. She started crying, then he started crying. Her father was emotional listening to it all. Even the registrar was wiping away tears. Nobody was trying to create a moment - they were just living in it.

Later, I noticed their relative’s young baby dancing whenever the music started. Every time a song came on, she'd start clapping her hands and beam with joy in her dad’s arms. Nobody had planned that either. It was just part of what made the day feel personal.

One of the things I remember most isn't even from the ceremony. Their father came over to me and gifted me a small bag of Greek chocolates after we'd spent some time chatting. It's a minute detail, but it's one of those moments that reminds me what I’m here for and why I enjoy intimate weddings like this. You get a real sense of connection with the people there. I remember the way everyone seemed more interested in each other than in what the wedding was supposed to look like in the photos, the way their sister looked over proudly during the signing, and the way the bride’s mother hugged her so tightly after the ceremony concluded.

Those are the things I remember most fondly, and they're usually the things couples remember too.

When people imagine intimate weddings, they often think about having fewer guests or a smaller venue. Those things can absolutely help, but intimacy is about connection at the end of the day. It's about taking the time to realise that all your favourite people are in the same room on a day you won’t forget.

The weddings that stay with me aren't usually the most impressive. They're the ones where people feel comfortable enough to stop performing, and are simply there with their people.

In my eyes, that’s what makes a wedding truly feel intimate.